It’s funny. As I ponder the thought of what the New Year might bring, it’s kind of this magical vortex of the unknown. Nobody knows. Okay, maybe those so-called ‘psychics’ know, but let’s be honest, they really don’t. And this can be said, because quite often you see those little shacks with the neon signs that say ‘psychic’ on them and quite often they are surrounded by a bunch of failed boarded up businesses. And if they were smart business people who could ‘see the future and know things ahead of time’ – you would think they would have known this about the all-important, ‘location, location, location’ – you don’t place your place of business in a location where you won’t get cross-traffic… right? So I always marvel at the empty lots surrounding them, wondering if they know that not everyone who drives by will be lured by the mystique of one small shack surrounded by nothingness, to even inquire within.
Anyway, that’s a whole other blog. Back to the peek at the New Year. Or more like, we can’t really peek at the New Year… I think that’s what’s interesting about it.
The earliest peek we ever get at what is coming for the New Year is things we know that are for sure coming. For instance, we know the January white sales are always going to happen for the most part, so if we need towels and sheets, we can wait til these go on sale. We may know what movies are going to be released for the New Year, or what makes and models of vehicles may be hitting the New Year, but as far as our own lives are concerned – we really have no clue.
And as I think about all the people who are book jumpers (you know the people who buy a book and then skip to the end to see how it ends, before they read to find out how it begins), the candy curious (the ones who get a knife and cut into the chocolates in the box to see what they are before they eat them), and the present peekers who sneak a peek at the presents under the Christmas tree before Christmas … it must be agonizing to approach the New Year, NOT knowing what it holds.
To me, NOT knowing is what life is all about. It’s how you handle life and all the things life throws at you. Maybe life will bring some good things, some bad things, but you can be sure that life will throw challenging things at you to test your ability to deal, your ability to cope and to see how strong you are. It is also an opportunity to see how far you’ve come in your own growth. Are you aware of what you can and can’t handle? When push comes to shove, can you ultimately step up to what life presents and handle it with grace, with love, with patience?
How we enter the New Year is just as much of a reflection of who we are as much as how we exited the previous year. And if we enter the New Year with open arms, open eyes and an open heart – I think it will be a very meaningful year, no matter what happens…. Good or bad. For even if a year is bad, if we at least learn something or cherish the good moments during this time, it will still have a positive outcome for all involved. It’s important not to drag crap from the previous year and taint your New Year with negative thoughts and energy. Otherwise, you’ll simply miss all the new stuff that comes your way in the New Year.
We are given opportunities to show up as our best selves. We are also given opportunities to become stronger, wiser and better people. Even if things do not go as planned, let’s be honest and take a good look and ask yourself… does anything always go according to plan?
Where there are tears and sorrow, there is laughter and joy. Where there is loss, there is gain in appreciation for what you have, who you are loved by and who you love, and the memories you created together. Where there is heartache or injury, there is healing. And where there is the UNKNOWN in life and the New Year, there is taking a peek … maybe not at what it holds, but more so about taking a peek at your past so you can understand how you will handle things in your future. It’s about making life situations better, connections stronger, minds and hearts more open to being peaceful and loving and creating happiness instead of drama and chaos. So let’s take a peek… into the New Year, at how we plan to be and simply live it the best we can.
From the time we are able to walk, we have a curiosity to climb. And for some the curiosity is stronger than others. Some have the motivation and instinct to climb more than others – for instance those who choose to rock climb, or climb Mount Everest. For others, the climb can be difficult – and not necessarily because they are not agile, it has more to do with the idea of being overwhelmed with such a climb.
If you’ve ever watched a determined child climb up on a counter to get to a cupboard to reach cookies that they are not supposed to eat, you know that for some, climbing is really about reward.
And that’s how we should look at climbing – for every step we take is another step toward reaching a goal, reaching a dream, reaching upward to touch faith or overcoming an obstacle.
I was in a store the other day watching a father and son argue. The son was about 12 years old. The father was arguing with his son about how he should play Guitar Hero. The son was basically arguing that he had played the game before and that he wanted the game because he liked it. The father was determined that his son forego the game as a pre-cursor to him learning to play an instrument and if he was going to learn music, he might as well learn it the ‘right way’ and take lessons.
This made me ponder the idea of the two parallel ladders of the climb. The father’s climb was more about structure, getting an early start. Perhaps he was reflecting upon his own path of regret in his childhood, or basically one of control and discipline. The son’s climb was about experimentation, baby-stepping on his ladder to enjoy the idea of the game he liked to play. What the father failed to realize was that maybe if the son enjoyed this game that maybe his son might choose to climb his ladder eventually, but was basically experimenting with music at this stage. And what the son failed to realize was that his father would be willing to pay for a ‘real’ guitar to learn on, something he wouldn’t actually have to ask for, because his father was open to the idea. The father was probably hoping his son would realize other kids would give their right arm for what was just offered. While the son wasn’t ready to take on that offering, and merely only wanted the game.
It is interesting to examine this argument. It was even more interesting to examine the two ladders each chose to climb. What was even more fascinating than that was that there was a third ladder there, one which neither father nor son chose to put a foot on… the one of understanding where the other was coming from and instead choosing to just argue and argue. In reality, both wanted something. And both were ultimately wanting a positive outcome. But neither could step outside of the argument to realize this.
And yes, there was yet a fourth ladder here – one of perspective. And this is a ladder the son will appreciate when he’s say, 30 or 40 or when his father is dead – that he had a father to spend time with, and yes, even argue with and that he had a father who wanted to go shopping in a store with him and want something more for him. And the father will step foot on this ladder when the son is older, off having his own life and realize that his son’s life is the way it is because all along, the son was a baby-stepper in his climb, taking on obstacles. He chose to explore things his way with his independent likes and dislikes, not always conforming to what his father’s ideas were.
It’s an interesting set of ladders. No ladder is right or wrong. But the ladders are there. Each chose to step on their own ladders their way.
What we need to think about with our own ladders is that for every ladder we choose to climb, there are other ladders present. Sometimes our actions will affect someone else’s ladder. Sometimes we need to look beyond our own ladder. And sometimes still, we need to be patient with ourselves and the steps we take – no matter how big or how small or even if we fall off the ladder. We need to cherish the ladder, taking steps and honor the fact that making the climb is part of life. This is how we learn about ourselves and what we’re made of. But it’s also important for us to examine that the ladder isn’t as important as the people in our lives who either are on ladders, at the bottom of ladders in the middle of ladders, stuck on their ladders or those who are rebuilding their ladders after a fire.
And no matter where we are on the ladder, if we are indeed climbing, we are living life. We don’t need to compare ourselves and our ladders to anyone else’s, nor judge others and the climb they are on. Each is for purpose. We have our own surprises at the top of our own ladders and we’ll even see surprises at the top of other’s ladders.
But regardless of where we are, we must attempt the climb. And we must keep climbing, even if it is baby-stepping it our way, our own way, to discover more along the way, as we ascend up our ladder.
One of the great gifts of the ladder is that it is there, for us to climb, when we choose as we choose and how we choose. And that is the ladder of life – growing, climbing, learning and becoming more aware, more educated so that as we look all around, the view just becomes more beautiful for us to see. Especially if we are looking at all the faces of others on their ladders and appreciate them as they are. Keep climbing.
As a child, I can remember playing a hands game “Here is the church, here is the steeple, OPEN the door and see all the people.” It was a game playing with hands and fingers.
I can also remember the game OPEN sesame. This game was not so much a game, as it was your saying “Open Sesame” and something would be behind a door.
Watching game shows on TV, like Monty Hall’s “Let’s Make A Deal” where you had to OPEN door number 1,2, or 3 were fascinating because you never knew what was behind it, and that was part of the thrill. No different than OPENing the ‘envelope’ during the Academy Awards to see who the winner might be, or OPENing presents on your birthday or Christmas, trying to OPEN your first bottle of champagne or participating in your first sports OPEN.
From the OPENing bell of the stock market to the OPENing of a Broadway play; being the first one in line when Disneyland or a bakery OPENs is also exciting.
The whole OPEN world is fun, exciting, happy, thrilling. And like an OPEN field, OPEN sky, and OPEN road, we often go through life seeing a lot of things that are OPEN, but rarely do we appreciate the idea of being OPEN, when something is closed. When things close, it has the opposite effect. When businesses close, when doors of opportunity close and when people become closed off, it’s hard to stop thinking about when things were good and things and people were OPEN.
There is a cliché “When one door closes, another one opens.” And this cliché is a true one. Most people in life, no matter how cynical seem to embrace this.
But even though the majority of people embrace the cliché, the irony is that there are more closed-minded people in this world, and to me this is sad.
You can argue with me about this, but what I am saying is true. Because if people were more OPEN-minded in this world, there would be more reasoning, more discussion, less fighting, less war, fewer conflicts, fewer problems, no racism, no sexism, no ageism, no prejudice and ….NO JUDGMENT about anyone, any size, any color, any height, any shape, any capability mentally,physically. There would be no closed-mindedness about any social class, any idea in politics, any religion.
Perhaps one day, the world will be OPEN for real… in all ways, in all perspectives. And one day, everyone, everywhere will be OPEN to PEACE and what that truly means, being OPEN to acceptance and respect for all creatures on this earth.
Have you ever heard of ‘sticking your neck out?’ A lot of people may have heard of this, and may or may not know exactly what it means or what it refers to. Usually most people assume it is to always put yourself at risk or vulnerability for ridicule, judgment and criticism. And for some reason, this has come to some sort of ‘negative’ type of reference.
My question is, why is everything viewed negatively? Can’t ‘sticking your neck out’ be looked at as courageous or brave, exercising independence and strength to have a voice and be heard?
Creatures in nature like turtles or crabs have a protective shell to stick their necks out and then quickly retreat back in, if thing seem hostile out there and not very friendly.
People really only have the option of being recluse in caveman-hermit style retreat when the going gets tough and ugly.
But why is this so?
Have we become such a judgmental society, quick to pounce on someone’s thought, viewpoint or choice?
Do others think they are superior to slander, demoralize and ridicule someone’s thought, idea or opinion, to prevent them from having the right to have one? Last I checked, everyone who has an opinion voices it. Those who take risks by stating what’s on their mind usually only get a slap on the hand, a fine and get pulled off the air by the FCC.
This is not to say, to be thoughtless, reckless and not THINK before we speak. But this is to say that very much like everyone’s personal choice to have their own ideas is okay… to have a thought or opinion is okay. To stick your neck out and support a thought or idea that jives with who you are as an individual is okay.
I think we should redefine what ‘sticking your neck out’ means. We should examine it in the same context as self-exploration and exercising thoughts, ideas and opinions, you know similar to writing a letter to the editor or to Congress. If we apply our anatomy properly, we can get a lot accomplished:
• DO – Keep our noses to the grindstone. DON’T – brown nose or put our noses where they don’t belong in other people’s personal business. • DO – Keep our eyes on the ball. DON’T – close our eyes to those in need of help. • DO – Keep our ears open to listen to people, hear what they are saying. DON’T – tune out the voices that could help us develop and grow as human kind. • And yes, DO – stick your neck out, be yourself, put your words, voice and opinion on the line for things you believe in, have a passion for and support. DON’T – retreat your neck because you’re too afraid of what other people are going to think about you for being who you are.
Afterall, if we didn’t stick our neck out to be vulnerable, to share perspectives, wouldn’t we all be ostrich, burying our heads in the sand? Who wants to live life like that?
The trees stand majestically, tall and proud. And the jungle feels like it’s growing with each footstep you put forward. The leaves of all the plant life feel as if they are exhaling their breath on your shoulders, whispering to you to keep walking into the depths of wonderment. You smell a faint floral perfume and musty wet dog scent accented with grassy/piney freshness all with one whiff.
There is a party going on and the conversation is rhythmic. Crickets contribute as the percussion, as the crashing waterfall provides a steady bass line. A myriad of birds of all breeds chirp and squawk their vocals. And mysterious slithery insects and reptiles hiss among the prominent raindrops which make their own music to polish off a Grammy award-winning soundtrack.
As you start to marvel at the beautiful hues of green glistening in the mist, your eyes fixate on the most exquisite and exotic blooms you’ve ever seen. The hypnotic flora will captivate you with salmon-pink scalloped edges, sunburst fire-orange and gold sprays of petals and gleaming white and magenta fringe.
And just as you are visually overwhelmed by the magical beauty you are imbibing with every dew drop of rain, humid breath and groovy jungle strum – it happens… THE BITE.
First it’s a pinch, then a sting, which progresses to the most progressive itch. Thirty-three bites later and two inches of blood-swelling puffer-fish appearing welts, you begin to understand the environment you were just in… someone else’s territory.
And you realize something profound: from a shark bite in the big blue ocean; a charging herd of cattle in the prairie, or yes, even 33 bites in the middle of the rainforest – you are a guest in Mother Nature’s home, which belongs to her children. And her children are skeptical of strangers entering their home.
It is here you are reminded just how small you really are. It is here you earn a newfound respect for the nature you take for granted and dare to trespass. It is also here where you learn just how much we really do need to honor the gifts we have on this Earth before they are gone.
While many of you may balk at the crusaders for our planet – until you’ve personally experienced this or any other kind of magic that intoxicates you visually, audibly and yes, spiritually in a virtual 360, , do you comprehend what people are truly fighting for. They’re fighting for YOUR right to see, hear, smell, taste and feel this all for yourself… the euphoria of everything at once, along with the residual stinging and swelling as a result of the once-in-a-lifetime event. It will make you think differently and put things in a newfound perspective.
I’ve always had respect for the planet and grew up very green in a progressive household that was green back in the 70s with the first solar panels in the neighborhood. We recycled, we conserved. But this experience gave me a deeper appreciation for every bottle, can or paper I’ve recycled, every bit of water I’ve conserved, every piece of litter I’ve ever picked up, every energy-efficient light I’ve screwed in and so forth. And still somehow, it just doesn’t seem enough. For this one opportunity to get bitten 33 times, I would say to see what I have seen, heard and what I have felt – was well worth it.
You can never underestimate the power of Mother Nature. And you can never underestimate the power that each of us have in unity to protect and preserve her and the planet.
Care for the planet, respect nature and don’t forget to grab the insect repellent.
The busier life gets, the more immersed in our daily ‘routines’ we become. And it is during this time that we forget to come up for air.
Perhaps this is a metro thing. Or maybe just a Los Angeles thing. But I’ve noticed people keep going, going and going on with their daily lives and routines to the point where everything becomes ‘automatic pilot.’
From the first coffee of the day, to the non-stop 16-18 hour days involving work hours and long commutes, to the weekends of pure vegetation into nothingness, what seems lost is the sense of community, sense of life and people’s true place in it. And while I am here to encourage life in the slow lane, this doesn’t mean that because you sit in traffic, you are getting the most out of life.
It was while watching an isolated turtle breathe, that I realized that there is a difference between choosing to come up for air and choosing to come out for a bit of rest and relaxation. The line is a fine line, but one that is distinct if you look closely.
Make no mistake – whether in a crowd of one hundred or sitting in a circle of five, one can feel alone. And sometimes when sitting all alone, you can feel as if you are in a crowd of one million and no one will leave you alone just to ‘be’ and give you the space and peace you need to gather your thoughts, to free up your mental space.
I believe it is essential to come up for air, but I also believe it is essential to come out for rest and relaxation. The difference is in your free will, and your willingness to allow and enable that time to be yours, to be pure, to be quality and to be present… emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
It’s vital to be a willing participant in life in order to fully comprehend the ultimate sense of what life is and isn’t. It’s important to get alone with your head sometimes and not have the hustle and bustle of daily life rip away at your energies and sense of self. It is in this process we learn how far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown and how much more we have yet to learn.
If we don’t take this time, we become so wrapped up in our own world, we miss the world that exists outside of ourselves, the real world going on outside our car windows and office doors.
It’s also revealing and humbling to know that for the most part, certain parts of the world live life better than we do. They understand the true meaning of life is making the most of it – good and bad and mostly WITHOUT, because they don’t need anything other than a ‘time out’ or ‘time with’ and just ‘time’ to be with themselves, and with others on their terms of enjoying life. It’s about paying attention, not just paying bills. It’s about taking stock in life and those you love, not taking stock in the stock market. It’s about enjoying a glass of wine and a sunset, instead of whining about how hot the sun is.
Most of us here in America live life backwards because we’re too busy and keep going forward. And those who keep going forward are in dire need to go backward because they’ve missed what life is truly all about.
So the next time you come up for air, or come out for rest and relaxation – no matter what, take it slowly. This isn’t a speedway. And it’s important to not become obsessed with the rat race. Because in the end you’re really only racing toward death anyway.
So if you take life slowly, not only will you savor it more and enjoy it more, but you’ll see that it’s all in how you arrive at the conclusion of what life is all about in the first place… especially if you’re in last place.
“Come on in, sit right down,” says Aunt Ida. “Sit! Bowzer, Sit!,” we tell our dog. Yet how many of us actually SIT … I mean really sit.
If you are used to working on your feet, sitting can become a huge relief to your legs, feet and back. But if you sit down on the job, unless you have a desk job, sitting down can be a ‘no-no.’
People in this world are used to going non-stop. Rarely do we sit, unless we sit at our jobs or in traffic or on some form of public transportation like a bus, train, subway or plane. But when asked to ‘sit’ – there is a bit of hesitance that comes with it, a bit of guilt, and yet after enduring a long, stressful week, where we dream of sitting and relaxing, we somehow don’t do as much of it as we should.
Lots of people don’t even sit down to eat anymore, they eat on the run. And some people don’t even sit down to watch TV – they are working out as they watch the tube. The other day, I saw a mother in her jogging suit, talking on her cell phone with one hand and pushing a stroller with the other, which happened to have the same hand holding a dog leash. The dog was also ‘not sitting,’ but running. Nearby was a lake with many ducks. The ducks were not sitting either, they were waddling looking for food, no one was sitting watching them.
Cat Stevens still may be “Sitting,” The Moody Blues may ask “Are You Sitting Comfortably?” and Otis Redding still may be “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay” – but the great lost art of sitting and reflecting, not sitting and multi-tasking, seems lost.
When you sit down and stop your world, not only are you still, but your world can spin in a more positive direction if you take time to sit, enjoy, relax and be. Sometimes we don’t have enough time to think, sometimes we don’t have enough time to breathe and reflect. But most of all, we have learned to view the great art of sitting as a waste of time.
When you take a moment and talk to someone older, they will tell you that sitting is a wonderful thing. You can sit down and take the time to learn from others. You can sit down and get acquainted with new people. You can sit down and take a moment for yourself to reflect on how wonderful your day went or how beautiful tomorrow is going to be. But most importantly, you can sit down and simply be yourself. No one is expecting you to be anywhere, be anything to anyone, you are simply allowed to just sit there as you are.
It’s that ‘joyous time of year’ again. And it’s funny how much this season has changed over time and how much of it has remained the same.
When I was a little kid, I can remember adults trying to put on their best face making the season bright and bountiful. But behind the holly-wreathed doors, I would hear the bitching and complaining about how women were the ones who would have to make the season happen if the season were to happen at all.
The gripes would include having to do all the planning, the baking, the holiday card addressing (and keeping track of the new addresses, the moves, the cards returned from old addresses or deaths) and then do all the meal planning, meal shopping, gift planning and shopping and wrapping and packing for mailing, standing in line at the post-office, planning for the unexpected drop-by guests, handling relative accommodating for overnight stays, stressing over the lack of space for everyone and dealing with airport pickups and returns, and of course the cleaning before visitors, cleaning up after baking and cleaning up before stay overs and before the meal. And this cleaning process also included cleaning the silver, bringing out special occasion linens and doing that clean up, preparation and then the decoration, tree, walls, lights and making sure there were festive candles, scents, firewood and the list goes on. This was all followed by also preparing for care packages of leftovers and then writing of all the thank you notes and preparing for New Year.
There would be this ‘knowing’ look in the aisles of stores while grocery shopping, big sighs in the lines where people waited with armfuls of goodies, with a glimmer of disgust and frustration. But at the end of it all – everyone was ‘happy.’ Of course the complaint would be that it took nearly two months to prepare for a moment where the meal was gulped down in less than twenty minutes and the present opening took less than ten. It’s kind of like a rollercoaster ride where you wait in line for three hours and the ride is over in two minutes.
The holidays happen the same time every year. But each year people get stressed, and sick with the flu from the stress, late hours, overtaxing of the body, mind and spirit.
It’s pretty amazing though that at this time of year, the average human who celebrates this one season can do all of this and survive it.
During regular life, away from the holiday season – life can be and is, just as hectic, but it’s not as glaring. Whether it’s dealing with birthdays, weddings, graduations, anniversaries, funerals, births, moving, job changes, commutes, house buying or selling, everyday task-mastering of business, personal, family, friends, neighbors, occasions, obligations and events…. Life can be crazy.
And whether you are dealing with crisis of illness and disease, accident or financial, career or family matter, life has a series of bumpy roads, obstacle courses and uphill battles to resolve and overcome.
But if it weren’t for all this, would there be the joy, peace and elation of life’s moments of gliding? Perhaps if it weren’t for all this, there would be no true appreciation and enjoyment of the good times, great moments of victory, achievement, accomplishment and endurance…
Think about that. If everything in life were easy, there wouldn’t be motivation to do much of anything. People would get laxed and lazy, disconnected by nature due to the fact that everything would be so joyous and effortless that they would end up having no emotional connection to the outcome of anything because nothing was put into it.
Nothing was more clear to me, than after watching Donny Osmond win Dancing With The Stars. The road up until his win was difficult because it wasn’t just the road he was on, it was the past roads behind him, the current road working hard to achieve the win and the road ahead of him as the outcome based on his performance all rolled into one.
When you live in a spotlight of expectation, expectation puts added pressure on you. When you are a perfectionist living with this spotlight, your self-imposed pressure can get the best of you. When you have had difficulty in the past dealing with social anxiety disorder in the arena of performance, and are performing with a broken toe, the flu and flying back and forth between Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Utah non-stop all week and performing a regular non-stop gig, even more so.
When you are trying not to let down a bunch of long-time fans who have been by your side for the past 46 years of performing, being the oldest contestant still in the running trying to keep up energy-wise with your peers who are the age of your own kids, that alone is huge. But when you are doing all this knowing you want the time you’ve spent away from your wife and kids will not have been for nothing, while also dealing with your own personal friendly sibling rivalry to come out ahead (also knowing you were winning for her as well – because at the time when she was performing, she was dealing with the death of her father, her own divorce and other family issues, while trying to lose weight to get healthy) well… the tears of joy behind the victory say more than you’re just happy you won.
We all go through the rocky road of life’s events. We all endure moments of difficulty, challenge and a path full of obstacles to navigate around, many emotionally, mentally and physically taxing times to juggle simultaneously while having a smile on our faces.
But again, if it were not for all this, the moments of victory will not have been as sweet. So whether it’s a holiday, a season, a life event, a competition or simply a moment to see what you’re made of …. We must remember that in order to enjoy the GLIDE in life, we must power through the rocky road.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, And someone can be the apple of your eye. One bad apple don’t spoil a whole bunch, Unless it’s the apple in your American apple pie. Apple isn’t only a computer, Nor just the name of Gwenyth Paltrow’s daughter. An apple isn’t only for your teacher, Or simply scraps for piggy fodder. An apple isn’t all that evil, Unless it is from Snow White’s witch. While many men may curse Adam, For taking an apple from Eve, that b***h. But we mustn’t see only crab apples, Nor the apples of shrunken head dolls, But rather embrace the apple, And the tree from which it falls. The apple is more than Delicious, And Granny would tell you so, For McIntosh, Fuji and Braeburn, Are just part of the list, you know. Here come Jonathan, Pippin and Gravenstein, Nicola, Baldwin and Rome, Adams Pearmain and Ambrosia, Pink Lady and Ginger Gold. And these apples adorn the Gala, Even Rambo makes a Cameo… James Grieve takes on the Empire, As Ben Davis bites Taliaferro. But Liberty will always stand, Like a Honey Crisp Northern Spy, And Pink Pearls and Paula Reds, Will make Jazz apples shy. But no matter how you like d’em apples, Don’t forget what they are truly for. Apples are here for your health, And so you can remember your ‘core.’ So take a bite out of life, Enjoy it along the way. And there will be much more of life to come, If you eat your ‘apple a day…’
In high school, I heard a saying from one of my teachers... “There are people who make things happen. People who watch things happen. And then there are those people who ask ‘what happened?’ “
While everyone laughed when they heard this, it was interesting to take a look at it from the perspective of everyone thinking they were the ones who make things happen. It was also funny to see that everyone automatically assumed that the people who asked, ‘what happened?’ were lazy people who were clueless and out of touch with the world.
But as life went on, I learned to honor the fact that sometimes you can’t always be making things happen. Sometimes you have to watch things happen because it is what you observe that can help you see a new direction you are supposed to take things. And if you are always so busy making things happen, you’re too busy to watch things happen and then you end up becoming the very person who asked ‘what happened?’ Take a look at the housing industry, the banking industry, Corporate America, Enron, 9/11, GM and even Global Warming.
You can have a bunch of people rallying to save the world, but then no one is actually doing it. You can have people be so busy pointing fingers when things go wrong, but then no one is minding the store. You can have people watch all this and sit back and do nothing. And you can also have a world so ‘in their own world’ – they are missing the very things that caused all these things to happen and they are now sitting back and asking ‘what the heck happened?’
Birds have a very interesting world. They sit, they watch the world. Sometimes they hunt. Sometimes they are the prey. But a lot of the times, they sit and watch what is happening. And if something is happening and they either need to get away from it or go toward it, they fly.
While we humans are not born with wings to fly we can change our own flight pattern by taking a bit more time to sit and watch what is happening. People who panic tend to do rash things and ultimately cause an unnecessary domino effect in this world. People who think they are invincible, sit too long and then end up becoming victims.
There is another saying…. “suit up and show up, s**t or get off the pot.” And that has its place in life, too.
John Mayer’s song “Waiting For The World To Change” used to get me upset…. Part of the song is true and I comprehend his generation’s thinking there was nothing that could be done to change the world. But there is an echo that I hear, or rather, the Mother Teresa screams I hear from afar that beg to differ. “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop,” which basically say Mayer’s song is a copout.
Hmm…
As the birds watch what is happening, and continue to breed and fly, As they watch their eggs get eaten, or their new babies simply die…. In the world that is changing, where life on earth is tough, They simply live life each day and, that is truly enough. The birds will sit and reflect, who knows what they really see. They observe and help us realize, the best things in life are free.
I have this frame on my desk that reads “To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don’t worry about the darkness, for that is when stars shine brightest.”
I love this. It’s actually a postcard I had found in a card shop and I liked it so much, that I bought it and framed it. It sits on my desk as a reminder to always stay positive.
There are days…and we all have days, when situations get the best of us, when we are not in our best place. And those are the days when this reminder rings a little louder.
But this saying is also a reminder that we need to stay true to who we are as people and not compromise integrity or our own core values.
I believe it’s important to stay true to your heart and what you believe. If we give up our own identity and our own beliefs and morals for the sake of trying to advance our lives, we give up more than just that, we give up our soul. Life is nothing without your soul. It is empty, meaningless and doesn’t hold any value or purpose or passion.
We all have to stand for something in order to truly be.
I don’t believe people who say they don’t believe in anything, because if that were true, this would mean they don’t believe in themselves, or anyone in their life. They don’t believe in any season or cause or reason to do anything about anything and in essence, they wouldn’t be living life.
Jadedness and negativity do not breed life – not just for the person stuck in this dark space, but for all those around them who are affected by this ugly non-productive energy. No one wants to be around people who don’t believe in anything... particularly those who don’t believe in the very day they were fortunate enough to wakeup in. Otherwise, why take on the day if you don’t believe even in that?!
The light we all hold inside us is amazing. It can brighten someone else’s day. It can bring about unexpected things. And the light can hold us up in our own dark times to plow onward, to have hope, to desire something for ourselves or for someone else.
Sometimes we’re not even aware of our own light or the power of it. Maybe a random act of kindness can change someone’s life. But I am a firm believer that if there are those who are interested in what you share and how you show up in the world, your light may have a brighter purpose than you realize.
This is a time when people need a little light. And if we all take the time to shine our own upon those needing it, we could just make this world a brighter place to be.
My father always said that everything should be done in moderation. Work and play, studying and hobbies, eating and drinking, exercise and rest.
But of course, this also meant to do everything in moderation….the very best that you can. As oxymoronic as that sounds, you have to understand that being part of a struggling and hardworking World War II generation, “doing your very best” also meant just that – as best as you can…as you can.
When I look at the important of balance in life I also look at the gift that this brings. There is a fine line in balancing everything. Life is, in itself, a balancing act.
People who spin too many plates are always afraid of having one crash down. But there is also the understanding that life is short, and without many plates spinning, you don’t get to experience life in its rich, fullest allure, either. Balancing and managing your time is a challenging task when you are trying to live life to the fullest, but there is also the crashing and burning by trying to do too much.
There have been many times in my life when I have laughed at the idea of reading the book “Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much” … simply because I am usually doing too much and don’t have the time to read this book. But somewhere along this road called life, I have discovered that if we take the time out of each day to just balance out our own energy, we will have more energy and time for ourselves, for our loved ones and all the things we enjoy.
This ‘pause and reflect’ is indeed a pause for effect. Just a few minutes each day to focus, re-center and concentrate on what balancing means to our health, our minds, bodies, spirits and our well-being, helps us become better at just BEING. And this means… we become better at being who we are in our ‘best self-mode’ and show up better, happier and more aware of ourselves and our surroundings.
Perfecting our own balancing act is a gift we can give to ourselves, especially as schedules get busier and demands get the better of us. We can be more in tune with what we need mentally, emotionally and physically, if we take the time to honor the balance we all deserve.
From the day we are born, music is in our lives. From the first lullaby we hear to the music in numerous mobiles, Fisher Price toys to children’s TV shows and songs we learn to sing in school, music is in our lives.
Whether or not we ever learn to sing or play an instrument, music is a part of us. It intertwines with our soul more and more with each passing year. Dick Clark said “Music is the soundtrack to life” and this couldn’t be more true. Certain songs can trigger a memory – you know exactly where you were on what date, at what time by just hearing the first few notes.
When you think about the power of music, it’s quite an overwhelming thing. It can trigger emotions, songs can make you cry, songs can make you laugh, songs can make you want to celebrate and party just as much as they can make you reflective or nostalgic – and they don’t even necessarily have to be songs with lyrics. An orchestral piece can be so majestic, it can make you feel something. Or a single instrument like a soulful violin, a moody saxophone, a jazzy piano, a rhythmic drum or a strumming guitar can transport you to certain places and times, like nothing else.
I don’t know if you’ve ever done this, but when walking through a store that has keyboards or any other instrument, even if you don’t know how to play, it’s very tempting to play a note or two. Music draws us in, no matter how or where… you can hear music faint in the background somewhere…someone’s radio or TV and automatically tune into what you’re hearing.
Music is something we enjoy while we’re working out or while we’re doing domestic chores and especially while we’re driving on the highway, it helps us pass the time. We can hum, whistle and sing tap an object or clank a glass and make our own music no matter where we are or what we are doing.
Have you ever felt tired or lacked motivation and suddenly felt a second wind of energy because of hearing music? If we understand its affect on us, we can appreciate it more when we hear it.
Music is also healing and therapeutic. It can help us relax, feel comfort, mediate and also motivate us to get well, helping us through physical therapy to recover from injury. How many times have you been in a horrible mood, but it’s been changed because of music?
The best music is the music which makes us feel connected and alive. It can change how we feel about life and ourselves in a positive way. It can connect us with others (all generations) who appreciate the same genres of music or certain artists… and it is the language that translates every culture.
Have you ever stopped to take in an Olympic ceremony? From the proud anthems of all countries, to the opening and closing ceremonies, music is there. Have you ever looked at a wedding or a funeral or a parade or recital? Music is there. We sometimes underestimate the power of music and take for granted how many different ways music is in our lives and how it can change one.
Perhaps we need to literally take note of how music can and will be something that documents history, creates a mystery, benchmarks a moment and moves us toward our own groove in life and through it.
In the words of artist Shannon, “Let the Music Play…”
Food. Grub. Chow. Eats. These are perhaps most universally devoured four letter words we have. And when we think about food – it’s a topic that everyone can contribute to. It’s something that can make you feel nostalgic about home, childhood and family. Food also provides the perfect platform for gatherings, parties and friends. It is something we use to celebrate life and it is also something we use to comfort in death.
Food is also something we tend to forget when we think about creating peace. A casserole or cookies can make peace in a neighborhood – calling a truce with a disgruntled neighbor or starting off on the right foot welcoming a new one. Pizza can bring together winning and losing sports teams. And a well-prepared feast can unite distant and dysfunctional families. A box of chocolates can mend a broken heart or make one go-a-flutter. And a sandwich split in two may make a new friend at elementary school with a kid who forgot his lunch.
When you look at world peace four big essentials come to mind: 1) A smile for everyone 2) Happy music 3) Laughter 4) Delicious food
Think about these four basics as the common denominator for peace. And then think about what these four things these have in common…. ONE mouth.
If the mouth was smiling, singing a song, laughing joyfully and eating food – there would be no time for argument, no time for shouting, yelling, saying other four letter words that are offensive, or talking about the other taboo four topics: religion, politics, war and money that seem to put everyone in a place that is not so peaceful.
Food happens to be the thing that feeds our soul, not just our hunger, when we choose to ‘break bread’ with others and celebrate the moments that food brings to the table.
For every moment in life, food is there. Even when there isn’t much food to be had, it can unite people together, sharing in what is there. If we took time to look at food as a tool for creating happiness rather than just something we shove in our mouths, I think we would see that our own plates would be stacked with an overwhelming abundance of beautiful moments to savor. Let’s eat up these words and apply them to our daily lives. Perhaps this recipe will be passed on and we can all feast on this kind of soul food.
They say that imitation (copying) is the sincerest form of flattery. I say it’s chicken, cowardly and unoriginal.
WHY is everyone so afraid to be different?! What’s so wrong with being different? I think being different is beyond being unique, it’s about being imaginative, strong, aware, having self-esteem to dare to be yourself, NOT like somebody else. Yet so many people try to be ‘the same.’
The world is full of a lot of sheep. How boring is that?!
Standing out and being different takes guts. It says “Hey, I am me – and you either like me or you don’t.” And either way, that’s okay. I think if more people took the time to celebrate themselves AS THEY ARE and there was more self-acceptance, the world would be a more beautiful place. The world would probably be filled with more love, peace, tolerance and understanding. There wouldn’t be anyone trying to ‘one-up’ … instead there would be mutual respect to live and let live and be and let be.
I also believe that being different has more perks than being like everyone else. And this is something that kids today should learn and understand. Instead of vying to have the same shoes as everyone else in class in order to be thought of as hip or cool, there should be more emphasis and focus on the person IN THE SHOES, and the path they are walking as themselves.
Afterall, we are all unique, there are no two people exactly alike (even twins)… we have our own personalities, our own quirks our own tastes, our own thoughts, and every experience we have is our own - so why the heck isn’t THAT celebrated instead?
If we spent more time celebrating our differences instead of tearing down what is different, the world would be a much better place.
Be different. Be unique. Be yourself. Because in my eyes, that’s the most beautiful thing you can be.
Today isn’t raining. But I saw some people walking with umbrellas. It’s not overly hot or sunny, so it wasn’t necessarily to give them shade. It is breezy, but not so much you’d want to protect yourself with an umbrella from the wind. I’m not exactly sure why these people were walking with umbrellas. But I had to ask myself if it was because they were putting it out to the Universe, that they were hoping for rain.
While we’re having quite the drought in California and we definitely could use some of the rain that the East Coast is getting, I know that I have heard more than once in the last several weeks, the desire to have a rainy day. We got close… we had a couple of marine-layer overcast days. But it didn’t rain.
I look at rain as a sign of good things to come, a cleansing of sorts not just for the psyche and spirit, but for the Earth as well. I have two significant stories in my life revolving around rain. Rain taught me some amazing things and it is because of rain, I have been blessed with a cloudburst of beautiful life lessons.
Flashback to El Nino….two significant things happened.
During El Nino 1997-1998 – rain hit pretty hard. And while I was more fortunate than most, I did have a lot of damage. I was also sick with Pneumonia, my mother was in a nursing home struggling with Alzheimer’s Disease and recovering from breast cancer, my father had passed, I had two friends who just died, work was slowing down and I had a leak in my kitchen. I sat there with a 103 degree fever in my pajamas with pots and pans all over my kitchen- catching streams, I couldn’t have been more miserable. My garage was attached to a back alley where the windows looked out to the West. When it wasn’t raining, I could see the sun conclude each day, as it would set in the L.A. smog. It was also in this back alley I became familiar with someone I affectionately called, “Vogue Man.”
Vogue Man would always wave “hello” and “goodbye” to me as I would enter or exit my garage in the back alley during all my comings and goings. Sometimes when he was feeling playful, he would jump out in the middle of the alley and leap on the hood of my car to scare me and laugh endlessly at my expense of horror.
One day, I saw Vogue Man at the grocery store. I said ‘hello.’ He stopped his shopping cart to acknowledge me. When I asked him how he was –he shyly smiled and quickly darted his cart away, never speaking, just smiling. I happened to get a quick glance at his cart – filled with Jack Daniels, a carton of cigarettes and a jumbo pink box of éclairs. From all indications, life must’ve been pretty bad… but was THIS how he got through life… it was his shopping cart, his party and he owned it.
I do not know Vogue Man’s real name. All I know is that he was elderly, lived alone and drove an old white truck. And every single day – he would indulge in his sinful habit of coming out in his baby blue polyester smoking pants, put his foot up on the front of his brick fence and ‘strike a pose’ as he lit a cigarette to take in his morning ‘smoke.’ This was a ritual…one where he had basked in the beginning or end of his day to just enjoy a peaceful moment while being outside.
Well, back to my rainy, crappy day sick and on my kitchen floor catching drips… I was watching the rain downpour. I felt sorry for my planter boxes. All my flowers were drowning. And as I got a little closer to take a peek at the flooded balconies, I looked further out the window. To my surprise… I got a life lesson amidst my day of misery.
In the alley, with the garage open, wind blowing and rain pounding – I saw Vogue Man. But he was NOT wearing his light blue polyester smoking pants! He was dancing outside, frolicking in the rain wearing brand new khaki Dockers. Vogue Man had new pants! He was happy, celebrating life, in his victorious way. He did not care that he was getting rained on. He was merely celebrating… ‘the moment.’ And this moment was his alone and no rain could take that away from him or his new pants.
I tapped on the window to get his attention. He looked up at me and smiled. I gave him a ‘thumbs up’ and smiled back and he returned the gesture and continued to dance and spin in the rain. This moment was a priceless gift and a life lesson. And I filed it away in my mind and heart.
The next week, I was glad to be healthy again and the leaks in my roof were temporarily patched. And they were ‘holding’ in the kitchen. Exhausted from all the drama, I was happy to have my first ‘good night’s sleep’ in a long time.
And just as my alarm went off… I felt a drip on my nose. I looked up… my bedroom ceiling was now leaking. Ah … fantastic, just what I needed.
Karen Carpenter put it best ‘rainy days and Mondays always get me down.’ Well this day happened to be a Monday AND El Nino was hitting, I had a new leak. And though I was being ‘spiritual’ thinking of Vogue Man’s lesson to ‘celebrate the moment’ – I was going to celebrate this as one more thing that didn’t kill me, but made me stronger. LOL
A couple of weeks prior to this rainy Monday – I had initiated correspondence with the head of a women’s business organization. It was part of the business ‘networking’ thing I was determined to do once I made a commitment to live in Los Angeles permanently. And I admit I was pretty persistent about it. This woman agreed to meet with me in person. And we had scheduled the meeting for this particular Monday and we were to meet for breakfast.
I was feeling sloth-like…(weeks of fatigue catching up with me) and even though I had a good night’s sleep, who could blame me for feeling like I did not want to get up out of bed, just to be in the middle of rush hour traffic to drive through flooded streets in this hardcore downpour of a rainstorm BEFORE breakfast?! Gads! Though, I was really, really wanting to meet this woman that I had spent time trying to network with.
But when I called to see if ‘the breakfast meeting was still on’ – to my shock, her words of strength, her attitude and demeanor were beyond what I was expecting her to say as she said “Oh it’s just a little rain – wear a raincoat, bring an umbrella – you have to eat anyway!”
So I dragged myself and put Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” voice in my head “Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition and yawn and stretch and try to come to life – jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin,’ out on the streets and traffic starts jumpin….”
And then I arrived at our breakfast destination dripping but smiling. I saw her and we both shook off the water like ducks and started to chat.
Immediately when I met her – I was glued to her energy. She was vibrant and very generous with her conversation and thoughts. It was a great meeting. But business got quickly pushed aside and the conversation got personal – the connection was very psychic and her offerings seemed to be from the Heavens. It was like she was ‘the messenger’ of something very important she had to tell me.
She shared a story about her life, which I will not share here – as that is personal. But she was struggling during a very difficult period in her life. Her life was very stressful, her world filled with chaos, drama and very emotionally taxing times. She said that every day she would run around harried and frantic, just trying to cope.
The gift came from a homeless woman who managed to scrounge up a soup can. The label was torn off of it. Earth’s great soil placed inside and propagation of a plant of some kind taking place. There was a very long, scraggly vine sans leaves, very long, windy, twisty – similar to a life’s journey. And on the very end of it a tiny flower with a yellow center and small, delicate white petals. No other blooms were in sight at all… just this one little, tiny bloom at the end of this homely, leafless vine. And with it came a note that said “If this little flower can make it, so can you!”
She shared this story with me. WOW – it was pure euphoria, epiphanies, revelations and a whole truckload full of feelings that were awakened inside me as I heard this story.
And the rainy season of El Nino made a huge difference in my life. One I’ll never forget. Between flower power over breakfast and Vogue Man dancing in the rain, I changed my outlook on life and haven’t turned back. So many things evolved from this.
This is what got me interested in plants once again….digging my hands in soil, being at one with the Earth and needing to do that to feel Zen in harried times. It inspired me to write my First Grade elementary school teacher and thank her for teaching me about propagation in the first grade. It inspired me to take a Hip Hop dance class at my gym and reinvigorate movement in my life and letting my body be an extension of my expression. And yes, even I must occasionally update my wardrobe rain or shine for my spirit.
These two events reminded me… that will is stronger than anything, and nurturing one’s own garden in life (even if completely drenched)… will encourage growth no matter how challenged the conditions.
In the words written by John Fogerty for Creedence Clearwater Revival… I want to know… “Have you ever seen the rain?”
Breathing. It’s essential for life on earth. People, animals and plants all need to breathe. Without the breath of life, there would be no life.
While the whole planet is focusing on a greener earth, eliminating air pollution and creating clearer air, no C02s…. it makes me question WHY we are still having to deal with pollution at all if everyone knows it’s bad for us. Is it laziness? Too much financial greed? It’s certainly not for the lack of research, technology, science…. All signs point to how horrible NOT having clean air can be. So why isn’t this already resolved?
Perhaps it is too confrontational. You know, like having a disease and not going to the doctor for fear of knowing what problems exist and not wanting to know what is going to happen. But the bottom-line is that we all know what is going to happen if we don’t have clean air to breathe.
This brings me to the idea that ‘clearing the air’ is like a giant elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about, much like ‘clearing the air’ for misunderstandings, misinformation, everyday issues that no one wants to face….with honesty in the face.
Whether it’s an old family argument, a friendship or relationship gone awry, a work situation that is dysfunctional and toxic… most people will spend more time complaining and griping about something than taking the time to ‘clear the air’ of the issue at hand. Is it fear for not wanting to step out of the comfort zone to discuss something? Is this emotional baggage? Again, is it laziness, the lack of communication skills/tools to resolve something? Is it denial?.... hoping something will ‘JUST GO AWAY?’
Frankly, I am exhausted of the ‘excuses’ people seem to come up with for WHY something isn’t being resolved, addressed or rectified. Life is far too short to sweep crap under the rug and hoping for resolution without taking the steps. And this goes for the environment and the air we breathe just as much as it does for dysfunctional communications/interactions with people in your life and not clearing the communication air of negativity between you.
The only way to breathe deeply and cleanly in life is to take responsibility for your actions (or lack of), your words, your feelings and DO SOMETHING to make positive changes. Whether it’s doing our part to do the green thing, or doing our part to resolve negative feelings, it’s a change we all need to make to improve the air around us and between us.
Dreams. Goals. Aspirations. We all have them. Some may have goals to have a certain profession or career. Others may dream of taking a trip around the world or rocketing to the moon. Some may aspire to be like their mother or father or a role model in their life.
This is part of who we are. And as we get older sometimes these dreams, goals or aspirations change. For the most part, they do. Maybe when you were in Kindergarten, you wanted to be an astronaut or like Michelangelo and be a famous painter. But today you’re getting your degree in something completely different or just working to make ends meet.
Whatever the case, this does not mean dreams die. It does not mean goals go away. There is still something inside of you which aspires to be something you always dreamed of being or doing something you always dreamed of doing. Everyday life sometimes puts things on hold. But by no means does it mean we can’t pursue something meaningful.
When I was little, I had lots of goals and dreams based on some of the things I enjoyed doing. And while some of those goals or dreams changed, they changed because I did. I grew. I grew up. In this process, new dreams and new goals emerged. It took time to embrace this. But in time I did and I learned to appreciate the process just as much as I admired the fact that life brings about new experiences so we can take flight with them.
This also means we change our circles, too. It doesn’t mean discarding your friends. But it does mean changing your circle a bit so that you can grow as a person and be introduced to new things and new experiences, also. You may find that others share your dream, too. Maybe this in itself, can give you the motivation to go forward with exploring it once again.
So while you may be working your ‘day job’ – why can’t you join an adult soccer league and play at night or on the weekends? Or maybe volunteer with the charity organization you most admire? Or even take up music, dance or martial arts… even night classes toward that dream or goal you once had but put on the back burner?
It’s never too late to be what you want to be or do what you want to do. It’s never too late to spread your wings to fly toward your dreams or goals. If you take the time to do this, you’ll find others who share your dream or goal, can pursue theirs right along with yours and make it all the more special.
There is an inspirational quote (with many credited authors for this quote) “Success is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” But I believe that sometimes opportunities happen as they happen.
Some people have been in the right place at the right time. They call this success or in some cases, just darn luck.
But what about ‘missed opportunities’ or ‘opportunities not taken…’ what about those? Some people cry over the opportunities missed… you know, the ‘one that got away.’ Though we must give thought to the opportunities we choose to miss. Is it a shift of priorities? Is it wrong timing?
When I think about the opportunities I did not take, I don’t regret any of them. Sure it is human to wonder ‘what if’ you had taken them, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Don’t you?
Think about the idea, if you HAD taken a certain opportunity and it directed you toward a completely different path. It is highly possible the joys you DO have in your life right now, wouldn’t be there? They would be different or non-existent, maybe. So is this really something to think about also.
And much like the tide, if we paddle out to it and happen to catch a wave of opportunity… great. If not, wait for the next tide. While there will be high tide and low tide, one thing is for certain, the waves will always be there. It’s up to us to decide which wave to ride, and which wave to let crash over us, and which ones to simply ride out.
I think if we obsess too much over the waves we did not ride, we’re missing the best part about being out there to catch one in the first place. The same can be said for a short ride. Short rides are not to be mourned, either. They are merely gateways to the longer ride.
We are given many waves in life to ride – difficult and challenging as well as smooth rides. We need both. And we need both the high and low tides to make us appreciate what waves do come along and which ones we can ride smoothly and enjoy. The truth is, our lives give us exactly what we need. We just have to not be so focused on the low tide to see the fact that we are floating gracefully as we await the next opportunity.
Throughout time, many have contemplated the road of life. Whether you are an intense spiritual being, an eccentric artist, deep author, illustrious painter, thoughtful poet or world traveler and philosopher or mindful musician, the road of life has been the charming muse of your soul and creative being.
The everyday person has their inspired road of life, too. But too often it is a traffic jam filled with the daily task of pounding the pavement to put food on the table and being stuck bumper to bumper. This often clouds contemplating the road philosophically other than with just air pollution.
Life is more than just a highway or a freeway of love. The road is more than just a country road, a rainbow, a city road, or a road that is broken, dusty, or crossed and long and winding. You don’t have to be the king of the road to enjoy it and you certainly don’t have to keep driving all night.
While we are reminded by everyday people that life is not about the destination, it is about the journey… I don’t argue with that. However, I feel that when the road actually ends, you ultimately want to end up at the end of the road NOT regretting that there isn’t one which you haven’t traveled.
Many people will talk about how difficult the road is (which is a whole other blog I won’t bother to writ)e. I think the road has its own road blocks and detours and we as the drivers need to make the right decisions on how to navigate safely accordingly, I think that the ‘open road’ discussion is one that hasn’t truly been addressed.
Mid-lifers (those in crisis and those feeling stuck) will tell you that the road open road isn’t so open once you broach it. People will speak openly about common topics….aging, health and a myriad of related things, but it’s a subject that is carefully taken on like a driving course of orange cones. There are certain forks in this road no one wants to drive on much less hug the curve of like a plagued spoon.
Clueless about what I am talking about? I am talking about the road which does eventually come to an end. Mortality. But I am also talking about life’s purpose.
If you had children in your early years, you are an empty-nester. Your children are gone now and you don’t feel as if you are needed anymore. If you are taking care of your family right now and seem to be in a daily rut, you are probably feeling “gee, is this all there is?”
And if you’re an over-achiever facing burn-out, you’re probably wondering which road to drive on next, wondering if at the end of it all, if it will have been worth it.
When experiencing a death, you look at life differently and through different eyes. You also realize that all the stuff this person got worked up over during life, really didn’t matter in the end. Basically, the road that was traveled was littered with life’s minor annoyances like nails in the tires, rather than anything that really made sense to go off-road for.
Swerving recklessly didn’t make the road better or more fun, but more dangerous. And driving 5 miles an hour doesn’t really make for a fun journey, either. But our road is our own and we must travel it as we see fit. We have a license to drive, we must drive responsibly so we don’t injure others in our path and we must also take the liberty to drive and obey the rules of the road so that we can actually keep on driving.
Driving in the middle of the road of indecision is more painful than anything else because you’re really not living on a specific course toward anything to make you say at the end of the road, “gee, that was fun.” But if this is your road by choice, and this is how you like it, there is room for you Sunday driver types.
The other day, I reminded someone who actually got a flat tire on their car, while plagued with the flu, that sometimes the Universe does indeed give you a flat tire or a speeding ticket to purposely immobilize you to stop in your tracks and get on a healthier one for the soul.
While this wasn’t the most enlightening advice I have given… (lol), it was indeed advice from the heart and there is truth to what I said. If we don’t maintain ourselves (like a car) – how in the heck can we go places? I believe the Universe gives you a speeding ticket when you are supposed to slow down in life to savor what life offers. I also believe that when driving down the road of life we are meant to let the wind blow through our hair, take time to enjoy the scenery and not worry about the speed bumps we encounter.
My mother was quick to remind me that when I was born, I didn’t come with an instruction book. And this of course translates to our being born without a road map, either. While our personal GPS will navigate us by instinct, we must also be mindful of the idea of riding in the carpool lane, when we decide to share life with a spouse/partner or take our families with us along for the ride. Sometimes, we can go places we never thought we would go all because we have passengers on board who give us a fresh perspective and direction which not only challenges us, but show us a new road to travel.
There is only a ‘wrong’ road in life when it conflicts with your core values and your divine purpose. You may become lost along the journey, but that doesn’t mean all is lost. Refuel, get yourself pointed the right way and you’ll be motoring down the road to great places with your Atlas of experience.
The meaning of life is not defined by how shiny your car is, how fast you go… what matters most is that you enjoyed your ride in life and you don’t have any regrets about any roads not traveled. If your odometer has a lot of miles on it and you have many a road trip tale to take with you in your memories, I say that road of life was a pretty good one.
