Tuesday, February 2, 2010
THE MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME - UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILDHOOD PART TWO
STUCK IN THE MIDDLE. Yes, this is common - the middle child syndrome. This is why "Jan" on the Brady Bunch couldn't deal - Marcia was the popular oldest, Cindy was the baby and coddled. This may have been TV, but it is more real-to-life than most people understand, however, each 'position' (oldest, middle, younger, even only children) all have their issues - feeling pressures that others don't feel.
Middle children have a different way of exercising their need to be heard, seen, understood and related to. Whether YOU are this middle child or whether your spouse is, or maybe you are trying to help your own son/daughter being the middle child – whatever the case, there is a way.
Your older and younger siblings have their issues, too. The older one has to be the leader, lead by example.... and best not fail, or otherwise shows as a poor example to you and your younger sibling. Your younger sibling as to deal with your parents freaking out over 'empty nest syndrome' - and will most likely is the one to have to care for them when they age. Everyone has pressures.
What YOU need to do is understand that you are special no matter what. While it is hard to ignore how the family breakdown occurs because of birth positioning.... USE YOUR MIDDLE CHILD POSITION as a way to understand the family better than anyone else. This doesn’t mean you need to be forced into feeling like the glue, but in essence YOU ARE... you are the force that binds the family together. And while that may seem like an uncelebrated position, or seem like one that doesn't get the perks, YOU my friend are positioned to handle life as a survivor.
When the s**t hits the fan, who is going to be the one who survives? YOU! When life gets difficult and challenging, you're going to be the one to adapt well, understand the dynamics of your own family that you have when you are married and have kids. YOU will be one to examine a situation at work better because you understand the behavior of others well and know how to work in a challenging situation.
And you will work harder and strive to be more of an achiever (thus very successful) in life, because you are striving for your own light to shine - something you've had to do since you were a little kid.
Take a deep breath. Take a step back. And as you look at your siblings.... know they may seem to have it easy now, but when you get older, you will have it a lot easier, because in the real world, life outside your family's door - not everyone gets what they want and things are not handed to people just because they want it or need it - they have to work hard it. And this may be a scenario your siblings may have problems adjusting to because they were not conditioned to this kind of flexibility now.
***** STAY TUNED FOR PART THREE ***** THE OMEGA CHILD
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